Before I get started. I have to say this one thing.
The jokes you are about to hear. May be about women.
But when I refer to b@!$& let’s be clear.
Not every woman is a b@!$&.
So if any of you know my wife, you can tell her that I did the disclaimer.
Because. See, that’s the only reason she let me write this today. I signed a contract that states I won’t include her in my jokes. So, since it’s not that time of the month. I can say b@!$& and not mean my wife, too.
Besides. I would never call my wife a b@!$&. To her face. That’s just incriminating.
Besides. She’s only gonna read this blog to see if I did the disclaimer. After that point. The b@!$& stops reading.
LOL. No that was wrong.
She reads the whole thing.
And. Speaking of b@!$&. Why is it ok for women to call each other b@!$&. And when a man says it. We wrong. We insensitive. We uncivilized. We ain’t getting no nookie that night. ‘Can you leave the lotion on the sink? “‘b@!$&
Real low too. I say that part real low.
Because I don’t want my b@!$& to get mad at me. Because when she mad. It’s the same old thing.
‘Oh. You f’ed up in 1990. Brother. Don’t think I forgot.’
Women hold grudges. Don’t they? I like to tell em. Instead of always holding them damn grudges. Try holding Deez. ‘Holding what?’
Deez nuts!
Then the b@!$& mad all over.
Can’t win for losing!
It’s like these b@!$& is on some other stuff.
Oh. You and your girls can call each other b@!$&. You even get to call me the N-word. But as soon as I say b@!$&.
I’m wrong. I’m insensitive. I’m not getting any nookie tonight.
And speaking of getting nookie. Fellas. If you don’t already know how to drop the B bomb on your b@!$&. Take note.
When you long stroking her from behind. Slap that junk.Pull back and give it one good ram. And ask her. ‘You like that b@!$&?’
I guarantee you. That’ll be the one time you call her b@!$& and no fight.
But I gotta warn you.
This stuff is only for Gz. Long johnson Gz. And if you know you ain’t part of the club. Don’t go home tonight starting no stuff you can’t finish.
I can see one of you small johnson dudes now. Slapping your girl on the junk. And I say your girl. Because she not gonna go for that b@!$& stuff if you have a small Johnson.
Now. She might ignore you the first time. Write it off as you had too much to smoke. But try that shit a second time.
‘You like that stuff. b@!$&?’
She gonna stop pumping. Pull away from your tail. And show you a real
And see. I ain’t never seen a real b@!$& like that. I just treat her like she a real b@!$& like that.
And then afterwards. I lay there and hold my b@!$&. Me and my b@!$& cuddling. Brother!
b@!$& and women are just different.
Last example.
Ladies. Take note. I’ve done this live before. And every time, I get the same reactions and responses.
It’s 5 in the afternoon. Not yet dark. But it is gray outside.
I’m walking towards you on the same side of the street. Do you cross over to the other side ?
If your answer is no. That’s good. Very. Good. That’s great.
Because if you did cross the street. That would foul up my whole robbery. And I can’t chase a woman down. A b@!$&. On the other hand. I’ll chase a b@!$& down. And beat a b@!$& down. That simple. b@!$& get stitches!