Hanukkah. The New Christmas or the Jew Christmas.

I’m not a Jew. Heck. Im not even religious. So, the middle of December always perplexes me. I mean. Everyone around me. At work. At in the gym. My lawyer. They all celebrate Christmas early. And then they restart their celebration on Christmas Eve. Not fair. Kind of greedy, if you ask me. Almost like kwanza. I don’t like that either.

Pick a side. Jew is. Or Jew ain’t. Jew can’t be all up in the club one night. Then, you rocking a yarmulke, burning candles all week. And then there’s kwanza. Don’t even get me started. Almost was for me. But y’all look at me funny that week at work. Like I wasn’t always black. Like this red, black and green scarf is not for warmth. It gets cold in this office. And if Epstein can rock his little hat. I should be able to rock my scarf. No problem!

This country’s full of double standards. I liked it when it was all so simple then. Either, you was with Santa or Satan. Just like that. Ho, ho, ho. Or hell, hell, hell. No in between. No funny, little hats. No red, black and green. Just Santa, snow and sleigh rides.

Now, we got Hanukkah. They can’t even agree on a way to spell it. With a c or without. Eight crazy days. I tell ya. And the food is just horrible. No seasoning. Lots of potatoes and no taste. Oh well. To each his own. I’ll have some turkey, greens, Mac and cheese and a piece of that pie. To start.

And for those of you not in the know.

Hanukkah, also known as the Festival of Lights, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple (the Second Temple) in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights and days, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, which may occur at any time from late November to late December in the Gregorian calendar. Or, simply put, in layman’s terms, currently. In this day and age.

And wouldn’t you know it. Just as the commercializations of Christmas, comes the Dr. Dreidel. A four sided, spinning top. Now, with pictures of Dr. Dre etched in. For the young yous to play with and sing hip hop Hanukkah songs this year. If this sounds a bit far fetched. Feel free to Google it. You’re sure to be amazed. And satisfied to know that your dear old reporter friend, Shane Cooper, does not lie.